Personal Stuff, part I - weight loss.

This blog has seen one or the other post about personal stuff over the years... and it's time for another one. Actually, for two, but as they are relatively unrelated topics, I'll make two posts out of it.

Back in 2016, I went on a weight-loss journey that took most of the year, and I've been normal weight ever since I hit that goal weight in September. It did not stay at the goal weight very long - I went slightly above it pretty soon, as in one or two kilos, but that was okay with me. It was still a reasonable weight for me, and I did keep to this okay range for a year or two. Or, actually, even almost three.

However... since then I have gradually, slowly, sneakily gotten back into the habit of eating just a tiny little bit more than I need. Which means, Thank You Captain Obvious, that I've gradually, slowly, sneakily put on a bit more weight again than I'd like to have. Reasons for that (not the putting on, but the eating a tad more) are unclear, but they might include other health issues, a bit of emotional eating or boredom eating, old bad habits coming through again, a genetic predisposal to an appetite that is a bit too large, having the occasional bout of not sleeping enough, and there might be more, but I think that's already quite enough to have on the list, so I'll just stop here.

Now, back in 2016 when I was hardcore dieting, I logged everything I ate and drank to keep track of my calorie input, and very obviously, that worked as a strategy for me. It's a bit of a numbers game to play - how much have I had today already? Was it enough protein? (From experience, I know that I need a certain amount to feel okay, and not perpetually hungry.) Do I really want to eat that bit of chocolate or had I rather be finished earlier with the dieting? How much do I actually need to feel okay, and how much do I actually need for maintenance? It's amazing, and can be a real eye-opener, to weigh out portions and see how much or how little the same amount of calories can be. 

After months of logging all the food, it did get a bit old though. I wanted very much to be able to eat without logging everything as a crutch, and in the start, that worked fairly well. Over time, though, it looks like I'm prone to having just a little bit more than necessary. That's not bad if it happens once in a while and gets evened out by eating less on some other day, and lucky the person who does that naturally, but unfortunately that's not me. I just eat a little more occasionally, and never too little to even it out.

I've tried several times to lose some weight again freestyle, without logging, but it seems like I'm still not good enough at estimating caloric values, and at eating less without having numbers to cling to. So the smart thing would probably have been to do a week or two of tracking now and then, just to make sure my internal calibration, so to say, gets re-adjusted.

Well. I didn't, because I wanted so, so much to be able to wing it... and now I've gotten precariously close to overweight again, and while my clothes all still fit, they fit tighter now. So I've gone back to doing what works for me: Logging everything, and trying to go for a significant deficit each day. (Because I am also, still, an impatient person.)

And, surprise surprise, it's not as bad as I feared. Yes, it is a little more work when cooking, and preparing food. Yes, it also means taking care of what gets eaten (There's the protein quota to be met, which of course has an impact on the kinds of food that are smart to eat, and those that are a less smart choice). However... weighing and logging everything before I eat it also means that it's not as easy to just have a piece of chocolate, or a cookie, or another coffee (with milk, otherwise it wouldn't really count)... and because I'm a lazy person, that already helps with having less of the "boredom food" than I'd usually have. Snack fruit in the afternoon. The bit of chocolate in the break. Taking another small serving, just because it tastes so good. (I blame you, good-quality-food that does not even need a lot of cooking skills to taste delicious.) Having a last spoonful of whatever before putting leftovers into the fridge. All those little things... adding up.

We'll see how it goes now, playing this numbers game this time around. I will be trying to figure out my current daily energy needs while I'm at it (there's a brilliant spreadsheet hanging out on reddit for this), hoping that fluctuating water levels will not muck up things too much. And then, for the future, I hope I'll be smart enough to do a week of logging for re-calibration sooner and not later, so there's less to lose should the numbers go creeping up again.

I know that weight and weight loss can be a sensitive topic for a lot of people, and it used to be for me as well - until I got all my dieting myths and preconceptions blasted by the book "Fettlogik überwinden", which in the meantime has also come out in English, as "Conquering Fat Logic". So...if you have any questions, please feel free to ask.